Globally twice as many women as men suffer from
anxiety. Healthista spoke to two women who have conquered theirs and a
psychotherapist about how you can control yours
Speaking in front of a room of people, job hunting, or
financial difficulty; these are common situations which can trigger
anxiousness, a natural emotion of fear. The point at which it is taking
over your life in episodes of insomnia, heart palpitations, or panic
attacks is when the boundary between normal and a disorder is crossed.
The second most common mental health problem in Britain
after depression, recent research from Cambridge University published in
the journal
Brain and Behaviour found that globally, women
were twice as likely as men to suffer with anxiety. What’s more, anxiety
in teenage girls in Britain has risen by ten percent in the last
decade, research by the Department of Education found.
Our modern environment holds many anxiety-inducing
components, says psychotherapist Diana Parkinson who believes our
dependence on technology is leaving us disconnected with the real world
and with eachother. She says: ‘There’s an anxiety and tension because
people aren’t stopping. As long as we are connected to our electronic
devices, we aren’t connecting with each other, and we are not resting.’
We aren’t connecting with each other, and we are not resting
With careers, families, and homes to take care of, Diana
Parkinson points out the busy lifestyles women are leading, with little
time to rest. She says, ‘Both men and women are now working, and often
longer hours than they used to. There is always a generalised pressure
in the background. If people have children, things are going on in the
evenings and weekends, and it can feel as though you never get a break’.
Research published in the journal
PLOS One,
found that more symptoms of anxiety were being reported in the decade
1998-2008 but GP diagnoses fell, which scientists suggest could be due
to a reluctance to use the label. In a fight back to the mildly
immobilising problem, self-help therapies are increasingly being used.
Anxiety disorder has been identified as one of the most common health
problems treated with complementary and alternative medicine.
‘How we overcame anxiety’
Two women who know the meaning of anxiety are Charlotte
Dormon and Alexandra Prince. Working in London and across the globe,
juggling family and busy lives, a strategy to control their anxiety lead
them to learn alternative methods. Here we ask them exactly what they
have discovered.
‘Learn to say no and put yourself first’
Alexandra Prince, founder of I Want Her Light.
Do you remember the moment you realised you had anxiety and that you needed help?
I got to a point where I said ‘enough is enough’. I was
tired of being tired, of feeling lost, and of feeling out of alignment,
hating and doubting myself. You almost ask for a miracle which is beyond
the realms of this world. I was just thinking ‘someone please help me’.
It took two and a half years of anxiety and 10 years of depression
until I began to find recovery.
What were your anxiety symptoms?
At its worst, I spent two weeks in bed after I had a nervous
breakdown. I was putting on a mask, smiling on the outside. I was
constantly trying to pretend I was okay. But inside I felt angry,
overwhelmed and sad. I felt lost and broken, I couldn’t understand who I
was anymore. I couldn’t understand why I had this consistent feeling of
dissatisfaction. The worst thing you can do is lie to yourself.
How do you overcome your anxiety?
I really immersed myself in understanding the personal
development world. I watched YouTube videos and personal growth
teachers, such Dr Brené Brown and Dr John Demartini. Even Oprah. It was
to understand how to live from a place of growth and contribution, as
opposed to living in a state of pleasing others. It’s through following
those who had gone before me who had managed to deal with their
problems, and learning and re-educating myself.
You utilise what you’ve learnt from your past to move forward and discover a new way of thinking about it
For me it was hiring a life coach for nine months, who
helped me to look forward and to offer solutions, rather than to
continue going through my pain. We went back through the pain in my
past, but we didn’t spend hours and hours focusing on it. I utilised
what I’ve learnt to move forward and discover another way of thinking
about it.
What have you learnt to avoid to help control your anxiety?
I think it’s so easy to go to the doctor and get
antidepressants (which are commonly used to treat anxiety medically),
but actually that’s just numbing and masking the problem. The only way
to really overcome it, is to go deep inside and find those trigger
points in your past, which can often go back to a childhood.
Fill your cup first and then serve others
What’s your advice to women suffering with anxiety?
Be spiritually selfish; be able to say no to people. A lot
of people, in our current way of living, say yes all the time. We are
all trying to do far too much because life has become too fast. My main
advice to anybody is to be able to say no and to fill your cup first.
Understand that by saying no to people, you are actually doing yourself
and them a service, until you can come from a more energised place.
‘I’ve tried everything, but alcohol was the main trigger’
Charlotte Dormon, PR Executive and Healthista Eats Blogger
Do you remember the moment you realised you had anxiety and that you needed help?
I’ve had it on and off for years, and used to be on
medication when I was a lot younger. But the biggest thing for me I
noticed was alcohol. One Easter Sunday I woke up and I felt so anxious, I
was shaking. I didn’t want to be around anyone, I had to change my
plans. And it was because I’d been out drinking for two nights before.
Although I’m really healthy, and only have a couple of glasses here and
there, alcohol always triggers my anxiety. I would wake up and feel like
someone was strangling me. And I suddenly realised ‘I don’t want this
feeling anymore’.
What are your anxiety symptoms?
It feels like my chest is tight and I can’t breathe. I feel
overwhelmed. I have a prickly feeling all over my body, like my nerves
are on edge. I jump at everything, I get hot and claustrophobic,
especially on the Tube. The biggest thing for me is I can’t speak to
people. If I’m anxious on a Friday night I’ll just cancel everything for
the weekend. Its as though anxiety paralyses me and I go into survival
mode where my body just wants to survive through the day.
Its as though anxiety paralyses me
How do you overcome your anxiety?
I did a mindfulness course which really taught me to recognise when I’m getting anxious. I can now
recognise
the anxiety when it’s coming like a cold. I used to just freak out, but
now I have a self-care method. I ask myself: ‘What do I really need to
do now? Do I really need to see this person? Do I have to get this
deadline today? Do I have time to go for a walk?’
The adrenaline you get with exercise and working out really helps me get the anxiety out my system
I’ve learnt to do yoga, go to the gym and exercise, which is
so important. The adrenaline you get with exercise and working out
really helps me get the anxiety out my system. There is also a
supplement that I swear by, called
Pukka Ashwandha, which helps you feel calmer, and really helps my body when its going through a period of stress.
What have you learnt to avoid to help control your anxiety?
I don’t drink coffee in the same way. I used to have 2-3
coffees on an empty stomach in the morning when I was rushing around
doing 10 things at once. That was a big mistake. What I used to do was
have a glass of wine when I was stressed. But giving up alcohol is what
changed my life. It was REALLY hard to stop drinking as going out with
with your friends does mean drinking a lot of the time, so I had to
learn to adapt. I’ve done yoga, meditation, you name it. But alcohol and
the effects it had on me was causing me to feel horrific.
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